Search

Being Benedictine

Living SoulFully as an Oblate of St. Benedict

Open Search
Author

Jodi Blazek Gehr

SoulCollage® Facilitator, Benedictine Oblate of Christ the King Priory, Retreat Leader at St. Benedict Center, Blogger at Being Benedictine and SoulFully You, Teacher, Mother, Wife, Friend, Lover of learning, reading, creativity and spirituality.

Our Ruby Anniversary: 40 Years of Marriage

“I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

Forty year ago, my husband, Joe, and I made our marriage vows on August 17, 1985. As a 19-year-old bride, I had little understanding of what those words meant or would require. I imagine it is the same for many. We have hopes and expectations, albeit idealistic or romanticized. We may also have a good idea of what we hope our marriage will NOT be like. Surely, it’s a good place to start, but it is then that the real work of love begins.

Stability, a Benedictine value, is what is promised in marriage when we vow, “all the days of my life.”  We promise to stay, to not run away from challenges or difficulties; instead, we remain present to the relationship, to see what we discover about each other. After writing seventy-two chapters in The Rule, Benedict titles his last chapter, “This rule only a beginning of perfection.” In other words, marriage, or any commitment we make, requires practice—making mistakes, forgiveness, and always beginning again.

To love is a decision. A marriage is not made, once and for all, when the I-dos are exchanged. A marriage is constantly being recreated; it is always in the process of becoming. A marriage is made of moments. Moments we would like to forget, moments we must forgive, and moments that help us become more fully who we are. There are moments of joy, adventure, contentment, and the making of beautiful memories. When you string them all together, you get a picture of a life built together.

I love that the ruby, a precious gem, second only to the diamond in toughness and durability, is the traditional symbol for a 40th wedding anniversary. Throughout history, many cultures and religions have associated the ruby with mystical or spiritual qualities, representing love, passion, protection, vitality, and wealth. (Ruby Symbolism and Legends)

The word “ruby” comes from the Latin word “ruber,” meaning red. The red heart of Valentine’s Day reminds us of a desire for passion and romantic love. One also thinks of the redness of blood, which carries oxygen to all parts of the body, giving life.

Joe and I have experienced this “ruby” nature, not all in one day, month, or year, but over time and as a way of life. The ruby’s “inner glow” led to beliefs that it contained an inner fire or “an inextinguishable flame”. This inner glow, with a playful spirit and sense of humor, has fueled our commitment to protect our marriage, to be resilient, to learn, grow and change. We are wealthy in countless ways—a beautiful daughter and son-in-law, great friends and family connections, opportunities for travel, hobbies, personal interests, and, now, more time for together.

Our new season of retirement. After lengthy careers in law enforcement and education, both Joe and I have retired—letting go of our careers, but not what was at the heart of our vocation. We continue to work in other ways: I lead SoulFully You retreats and workshops on creativity and the spiritual life, write essays for Being Benedictine, and belong to a variety of book/study groups, including oblates. Joe drives senior citizens to recreational activities and appointments, enjoys travel with his siblings, meeting with friends, and cultivating his bourbon collection. We have time to slow down, take a nap when we want, read, and binge-watch TV shows, travel more, and enjoy spontaneous trips to be with our daughter Jessica and her husband, John.

Continue reading “Our Ruby Anniversary: 40 Years of Marriage” →
4

Be The Light: A 4th of July Message

“To be human is to live by sunlight and moonlight, with anxiety and delight, admitting limits and transcending them, falling down and rising up. To want a life with only half of these things in it is to want half a life, shutting the other half away where it will not interfere with one’s bright fantasies of the way things ought to be.” -Barbara Brown Taylor, Learning to Walk in the Dark

Light and dark are the colors of life. No life is ever all of one or all of the other.

This is evident for many of us this 4th of July, the day we celebrate the independence of the United States of America. As daylight fades and darkness falls upon us, we gather in city parks and neighborhood driveways to witness crackling explosions, brilliant bursts of light, and glittering sparks as they cascade through the skies.

Fireworks can evoke a variety of feelings—from excitement, pride, and awe to anxiety, fear, and disbelief. I enjoy the displays but abhor the loud sounds. I think of shuddering dogs hiding under beds and the trauma that veterans may experience. I consider how much money is spent on fireworks that could be used in so many ways to help others. Still, with conflicted feelings, I watch and wonder.

To live in this country, to live in my body, is to face the realities of light and darkness. I have ideas of what democracy looks like, what the ideal is (see The Pledge of Allegiance of My Heart here). But I acknowledge that America is a work in progress, just as I am. Holding the tension between what is reality and what is our hope is a challenge. How do we stay present to the suffering in our souls and the world without losing the light inside?

 This, my dear, is the greatest challenge to being alive: to witness the injustice of this world, and not allow it to consume our light.’       – Thich Nhat Hanh

Continue reading “Be The Light: A 4th of July Message” →
1

Ireland: I Had to Go Back

Vacation planning is a lot like lesson planning in the classroom and preparing for SoulFully You retreats and workshops I lead. I always over-plan. When my friend Sara invited me to go on a Celtic Christianity pilgrimage, I dove headfirst into researching all the possible places we could spend four days before the pilgrimage began. I found enough possibilities for a four-week vacation!

Visiting the monastic ruins of Glendalough, the holy wells of St. Brigid, and the High Crosses of Monasterboice, to name a few sacred sites on the pilgrimage, was all I had hoped for. But I hadn’t expected to be so enamored by the diversity and beauty of Ireland’s landscape, its rich culture and history, and the hospitality of locals and tourists.

St. Brigid’s Holy Well in Kildare. I visited in Fall 2024 and again with Joe, Dave, and Kris (pictured with me.)

So often, I found myself saying, “Joe would love this.”  I knew I needed to come back with my husband, that he would enjoy the Irish pubs, beautiful scenery, and visiting with locals. And, of course, I was thinking about all the places I had learned about that I still wanted to see.

And so it happened, I asked my husband whether he would like to go in May or September the following year. (See how I did that?) We decided on May, the best time to see wildflowers blooming in the Burren. I pulled up my research spreadsheet and got to work planning a two-week vacation. Again, over planning is my gift, so we decided on a few days shy of three weeks. Our friends, Dave and Kristine, who we met when our daughters were five years old (that’s 26 years ago!) would join us for most of the trip, and to my delight they let me plan the itinerary!

When deciding where to go, I knew I had to return to Solas Bhride in Kildare, the “thin place” where one of our pilgrims, Mike, had a medical emergency and passed away. The Sisters of Solas Bhride Centre & Hermitages had been so compassionate and hospitable, offering a gathering place for prayer and reflection, serving tea and cookies, and welcoming us to experience the presence of Brigid throughout the center, in its garden, labyrinth, and sacred art.

I enjoyed visiting with Sr. Rita Minehan and when I purchased her book Rekindling the Flame: A Pilgrimage in the Footsteps of Brigid of Kildare, she eagerly signed it. I learned even more about the sacred sites of St. Brigid nearby, including the Cathedral, the parish church, a holy well, and the village itself.

With the help of Sr. Rita’s book, we planned a pilgrimage day to Kildare, returning to Solas Bhride, where Mike crossed life’s greatest threshold, from the here to the hereafter. Sr. Rita welcomed my husband and me, sharing local art and memorabilia from “St. Brigid: A Woman, A Life, A Legacy,” a celebration of the 1500th anniversary of the death of St. Brigid, and the first year that the Feast of St. Brigid was declared a national holiday in Ireland. More about St. Brigid here.

Continue reading “Ireland: I Had to Go Back” →
0

Celebrate Trees: An Arbor Day Message

For the last 153 years, Arbor Day has been celebrated on the last Friday of April. The founder of Arbor Day, J. Sterling Morton, understood the importance of trees to agriculture, for windbreaks to keep soil in place, for fuel and building materials, and for shade from the hot sun. He believed in getting everyone, particularly students, involved in planting trees. An estimated one million trees were planted in Nebraska on April 10, 1872, encouraged by contests between counties and schools.

Trees nourish each other beyond what our eyes can see or our minds can understand. Deep within, at a root level, they are connected. The same is true for humans; we are deeply connected and nourished by each other. By gathering in community, we support each other. We keep each other standing tall and strong.

Inspired by the symbolism of trees, I created a SoulCollage card I named “Tree of Life.”

I am one and the many, tree and part of the forest.
Rooted deeply, standing tall, leaning towards the light.
Roots mingling with, connected to, nourished by others.
Growth is in my nature, and nature is in me.
I am the tree of life.

© Jodi Blazek Gehr

Read more about the synchronicity of creating this card and finding the perfect poem in Tree of Life.

“Benediction of the Trees”, a song written and performed by Derek Dibbern, is a prayerful song. It is recognition that Nature blesses us with trees for our healing, enjoyment, leisure, and protection–our very breath depends on the existence of trees. See images of trees through the seasons and a video of the song at Benediction of the Trees.

“What is being asked of us is nothing other than a certain responsibility for the legacy we will leave behind, once we pass from this world.” –Pope Francis, Laudate Deum, 18

The existence of trees has been threatened in the name of progress, to pad the pockets of the greedy, or, sadly, out of sheer ignorance. The original tree huggers, known as the Chipko movement, continues to influence environmentalist efforts, forcing reforms and moratoriums in the forestry industry that saved thousands of trees. Read more about a tree-hugging moment for a group of friends as we celebrate reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer at Tree Huggers: The Circle of Care.

The Arbor Day Foundation works to “help others understand and use trees as a solution to many of the global issues we face today, including air quality, water quality, a changing climate, deforestation, poverty, and hunger” through conservation and education programs. Read more about Arbor Day at Planting Trees is a Big Deal: 150 Years of Arbor Day!

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger

1

Tree of Life

“Everything in this world—every quark, atom, dust speck, heartbeat—quivers with the presence of God and is the presence of God…a kind of fourth dimension to all of life.”

-Thomas Keating: The Making of a Modern Christian Mystic by Cynthia Bourgeault

I find this divine quivering in the creative process of SoulCollage®, writing, planning retreats, deep listening with kindred spirits, reading good books and poetry, and in this season, beholding the beauty of springtime in the shimmering of every conceivable shade of green.

The presence of God quivers especially in the holy surprise of synchronicities, often referred to as a “thin place” by the Celts. Just minutes after creating a SoulCollage® card titled Tree of Life, I stumbled upon the most perfect poem.

How to Build A Tree
Continue reading “Tree of Life” →
1

Kindness Matters

“We have God and we have each other. We have our island community, fragile, and yet a fortress.”

–Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler

The past few months have presented some hard times in my circle of friends and family. Each week presents a new situation—diagnosis, dying, death—all of it; not to mention the growing instability in our country and world. It seems impossible not to feel sadness, loss, fear, even despair.

Over a recent campfire conversation with friends, my husband shared a sympathy card he received after his brother, Steve, passed away. Overcome with tears, he could not get through the words, so I finished reading it for him. I, too, was in tears by the time I reached the end. And that’s when it hit me–this is how we must walk through any darkness we face: KINDNESS.

My husband’s former co-worker was so thoughtful! His words are an example of how we can extend kindness to others. We are grateful for all the acts of kindness from so many during the last few weeks and throughout our lives. Kindness matters.

Continue reading “Kindness Matters” →
4

Light and Shadow: Atoms of Delight

A Contemplative Day

A contemplative day
morning to dusk, I return to the window.
Heavenly light casting shadows,
I center my heart’s attention on the one thing
Tree in eternal standstill.
Earth spinning on its axis, in and out of daylight
Subtle changes, shifting shadows.
The one thing is still the one thing.
Cloaked with leaves from green to golden yellow or in winter, naked
The tree is still the tree.
Light and dark, a blanket of snow and shadow branches.
Insights shifting with the shadow.
Perspective is everything.
Shadow deepens, lengthens, lightens, disappears.
For shadow, for me, the Source of Light is essential.
The only lasting truth is change.

(written by me! © Jodi Blazek Gehr)

“Wonders are the signpost to the Wonderful. Wonders will not cease while time keeps unfolding. Time left ahead assures us of wonder’s returning.” –excerpt from Ceaseless Wonders, Ana Lisa de Jong, Living Tree Poetry, February 2025

Wonder captured me the other day as I was working in the kitchen. Our first measurable snowfall didn’t happen until February this year in southeast Nebraska. The sunlight on a backyard birch tree elicited the most intricate artwork on the fresh snow. I returned a time or two to see how the shadow shifted, deciding to make it contemplative prayer throughout the day.

Continue reading “Light and Shadow: Atoms of Delight” →
1

Ooh, I Wonder

Ooh, I wonder
What is to come, out of this darkness
I’ve been moving moving moving moving through the darkness…
I wonder when the light is cracking open..
(Wonder by S. Nutting/ K. Longaker)

The first verse to the song Wonder by Ma’Muse poses questions about the “dark night of the soul” that most of us experience at some point in our lives. Whether it is melancholy, depression, fear, or grief that grips us, we wonder: When is this going to end? What is going to come out of this darkness? What comes next? When will we see relief from our suffering? When will there be more light than dark?

The song continues.

I thought this candle had long gone out…
But today today today today I can see
There’s still a flickering flickering

Today I saw a flickering, just a little light cracking open, after some weeks of darkness.

I had just finished reading a new poem from Ana Lisa de Jong, when Wonder came up in my Spotify playlist. The poem, Ceaseless Wonders, offers insights into when light may come.

CEASELESS WONDERS
Wonders never cease,
while we are sleeping
or awake in rumination
wonders are not ceasing
Wonders will not cease
until wonders are not needed,
meanwhile wonders are the signpost
to the Wonderful.
Wonders in the breath,
which has exhaled us into being,
and wonder in the
breath that keeps us living.
Wonder in the breath
of the fresh new morning,
the birds who sing of the
restoration of creation.
Wonders will not cease
while time keeps unfolding.
Time left ahead
assures us of wonder’s returning.
And wonders never cease
as darkness precedes the morning,
the morning star
points us to light’s dawning,
and the rounding sun,
which hardly falters in its momentum,
though wonders seem far flung
and courage is ebbing.

-Ana Lisa de Jong, Living Tree Poetry, February 2025

The synchronistic moment of the song and poem coming together was itself, a glimpse of light, my 2025 word of the year. Experiencing synchronicity is a holy surprise, an inkling of something more, a nudge to pay attention, to look and listen deeply. Perhaps this is a glimpse, a reminder, that darkness will pass with time because darkness always precedes the morning. Wonders will not cease/while time keeps unfolding. Time left ahead/assures us of wonder’s returning.

During this time of darkness, wonders never cease, are not ceasing, will not cease. The wonder is our breath. We can use our breath as prayer—the literal inhale and exhale, that takes us from one moment to the next, from this day to the next, from night into morning. We continue to

Burn burn burn burn on the inside
Burn burn burn burning like a bright light
Burn burn burn burn on the inside
This light’s still burning, burning bright
I thought this candle had long gone out…
but today i can see, there’s more than a flickering

Our longing for hope, peace, and light becomes the prayer. And in times of darkness, our purpose is not to question our lack of courage or hope, but instead to bring wonder as fuel to burn like a bright light, to keep the flame alive. Yes, I wonder and I wonder.

2

Lower Your Nets: Do Not Be Afraid

February 2025 Oblate Reflections

Lectio Divina: Luke 5: 1-11

Each of us in our Oblate community comes to a Lectio Divina discussion from our personal experience of the Divine. The beauty of Lectio is that the reading, insights, and discussion fall differently on each of our hearts. When we practice Lectio Divina, we learn from each other by sharing a word or phrase that resonates. We see a deeper meaning to the reading with each contribution as we “listen with the ear of the heart.” (RB Prologue) What resonated with our group:

“The crowd was pressing in…put out a short distance from the shore.” Sometimes what we bear seems so much. Perhaps we could break our feelings, responsibilities, or worries into smaller pieces. Jesus only asks us to go a short distance–taking on only what we need to while trusting that when we go into deeper waters, God will be with us. Even Jesus sat down for a bit to continue his teaching. We learn from his example: our work sometimes requires distance and healthy boundaries from others. We must listen and discern.

“We have worked hard all night.” In times of weariness, feeling overworked, defeated, or unsuccessful, we must carefully listen for the hopeful words of Jesus. The first word in the Rule of St. Benedict is “Listen”—he knew that we cannot go out into deep waters alone. We find encouragement in pausing, resting, and receiving help from others.

Continue reading “Lower Your Nets: Do Not Be Afraid” →
2

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑