Being Benedictine

How To Bear Discomfort Well

I do not bear discomfort well, I said, half-seriously, half-jokingly, to my son-in-law, John, the other day, as I took a little longer to get out of the car than the rest of the family. We both laughed as John noted that his wife shares this same trait at times. Like mother, like daughter.

It was a cold day in Nebraska, so we had to bundle up to go out, but once we were in the car, and the heat kicked in, I broke out into a sweat. Struggling in the back seat, off comes the coat. Two minutes later, we arrived at our destination. I wrestled my coat back on to re-enter the frigid temperatures. (An aside: Nebraska weather is a burden of extremes, from hot to cold. Our low temperature today is 12 degrees; on Saturday, 89 degrees is forecasted—how is one to cope?)

To add to my discomfort, several weeks ago, I sprained the peroneal tendons in my right foot. I will spare you the details, but it is reminiscent of the broken arm I experienced three years ago. Let’s just say—it adds to my discomfort, and I repeat, I don’t bear discomfort well. I feel a little guilty (and more discomfort) about admitting this out loud to John and writing it now. There are so many people suffering throughout the world—from war, displacement, poverty, hunger, trauma, poor health, grief, and every imaginable and unimaginable discomfort.

It is a lot for each of us to bear—our own discomfort and the wounds of the world that we also carry in our thoughts, physical bodies, emotional responses, and spirits. So much discomfort, uncertainty, ambiguity, and waiting can make us irritable and impatient—and there is so much to activate our discontent these days.

Recently, on my Being Benedictine Facebook page, I shared some wisdom from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. Within 24 hours, the post had 130 times the average likes, comments, and views of a typical post.

This idea of waiting, and the discomfort that results, seems to resonate with many these days. It is increasingly challenging to “trust in the slow work of God,” and we need constant reminders that this is how we must cope.

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March 18, 2026 0

International Women’s Day & A Prayer of Longing

“Lord our God, hear my prayer, the prayer of my heart. Bless the largeness inside me, no matter how I fear it. Bless my reed pens and my inks. Bless the words I write. May they be beautiful in your sight. May they be visible to eyes not yet born. When I am dust, sing these words over my bones: she was a voice.” –Ana, The Book of Longings

In The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd, Ana writes this prayer of longing on the incantation bowl her aunt Yaltha has gifted her.

“Do you know what an incantation bowl is?” Yaltha asked. “In Alexandria we women pray with them. We write our most secret prayer inside them…Every day we sign the prayer. As we do, we turn the bowl in slow circles and the words wriggle to life and spin off toward heaven.”

On International Women’s Day, we celebrate the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. We honor the women who have a “secret prayer inside them” to improve the quality of life for women, to raise awareness of discriminatory treatment, and to seek inclusiveness and equality for future generations.

In The Book of Longings, Sue Monk Kidd, one of my favorite writers, shared that she wanted “to write a story that encouraged us to follow our longings and bring forth the largeness inside ourselves…to portray how much women’s voices and stories matter.”

Ana’s prayer of longing is to have a voice, to be heard, and truly listened to. Ana lives during the time of Jesus when women’s stories were not valued or heard, often intentionally silenced and oppressed. Like Ana, we long for our authentic selves to be seen and heard. When we are listened to, we know that we are loved.

“All my life, longings lived inside me, rising up like nocturnes to wail and sing through the night. That my husband bent his heart to mine on our thin straw mat and listened was the kindness I most loved in him. What he heard was my life begging to be born.”-Ana, The Book of Longings

Listening is an important theme in The Book of Longings. St. Benedict thought it was so important to listen that it is the first word in the Rule. “Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart.” John McQuiston II, in Always We Begin Again, The Benedictine Way of Living, paraphrases, “Listen with the heart and mind.” These instructions to listen to God extend to the many ways God may speak to us—through our daily circumstances, unique situations, the people in our lives, and in our hearts and minds through the voice of truth within us.

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March 8, 2026 0

A Time to Wash Away: A Continuous Lent

February 2026 Oblate Reflections, Christ the King Priory, Schuyler, Nebraska

Theme: Love and Lent; Lectio Divina: Rule of St. Benedict: Chapter 49: Pictured above: The oldest copy of the Rule of Saint Benedict, from the eighth century.

Benedictine Sisters Benevolent Association, St. Scholastica Monastery, Copyrighted 1990. Meredith Schifsky, Calligrapher; Mary Charles McGough OSB, Illuminator

What is your first thought when you consider the season of Lent? Many of us think of giving up sweets, donating to good causes, reading spiritual books or devotions, or going to Mass daily or more often. St. Benedict devotes an entire chapter of The Rule to how monks should practice Lent. He instructs that “the life of a monk should be a continuous Lent.” As an oblate, or lay member of a Benedictine monastery, seeking to live the life of a monk in the world, this can sound like a tall order. Fortunately, Benedict knows that we are only human, that everything must be done in moderation. He writes, “few…have the strength for this.”

We consider what he might mean by the ideal of a “continuous Lent” as well as other words or phrases that resonate with our oblate community during our Lectio Divina discussion.

St. Benedict Center–our monthly Oblate meetings are held in Schuyler, Nebraska More info here.

A continuous Lent. The holy season of Lent, Benedict writes, is a time “to keep its manner of life most pure and to wash away…the negligences of other times.” He offers specific ideas: avoiding evil habits, praying with tears, reading, compunction of heart, and self-denial. Unlike a New Year’s resolution, which we often resolve to add or subtract from our lives (and often lose track of what we resolved to do), a continuous Lent encourages us to keep checking in with our spiritual journey.

Our intentions are not one-and-done. We fall; we get up—again and again. Our spiritual lives can be likened to a spiral—a continuous journey in which we return to learn anew. Lent is a continuous preparation for Easter—a time of resurrection, new life, and beginning again. Even when our hearts are pierced by our own suffering and by the suffering of the world, there is a promise of something new being born, something resurrected. Joy will come again.

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February 15, 2026 1

Let it Be… and a little more light, please. (2026 Word of the Year)

In the tradition of ancient monastics, each year I ask for a word to ponder, a word that I will prayerfully focus my attention on for the new year. It may be something I hope for or an attribute I want to cultivate in my life, but always for the surprise of what it might teach me, lessons I did not know needed to be learned.

The new word does not replace the old one, but enfolds, envelops, and encompasses it, another revolution on the spiral of my spiritual journey. As I reflect on the last several Words of the Year, this is still my truth: I want to hold all of life fully (2024)—the bittersweet moments and the sweet surprises, with “eyes open to wonder (2023), holy surprises, and synchronicity.” I want to see the light (2025) in the darkness. I want to be the light in the darkness.

Reflecting on a very challenging year and the tragedies, trauma, and “presidential” tirades of the first few weeks of 2026, it is clear—we need a little more light, please. And so, I hold light, my 2025 word of the year, in my heart as comfort and guide in tumultuous times, as a reminder to shine, safeguard, and trust the Divine light, and to add the mantra “Let it Be”.

On a recent SoulFully You retreat I guided, we explored how the human experience is a dance between dark and light, and that there is always a little glimpse of the other. Barbara Brown Taylor writes, “Suffering comes from our reluctance to learn to walk in the dark… Blessing the day means accepting my full quota of light and of dark, even what I cannot see what I am blessing.”

How do we carry both darkness and light in our daily lives?

Fr. Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk, founding member of Contemplative Outreach, and an integral figure in the Christian contemplative prayer movement, suggests using the Welcoming Prayer, which has deep roots in the monasticism of the desert fathers and mothers.

Together, we practiced a Welcoming Prayer guided by David Benner, founder of Cascadia Living Wisdom. Step 1 in the process is Focus; Step 2 is Welcome; Step 3 is Let it Be—“Remember Jesus’ words in the garden of Gethsemane, ‘Not my will but thine be done’…or think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, as she responded to the annunciation. Let it be. This response is at the heart of Paul McCartney’s song called Let it Be.”

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see; there will be an answer, let it be

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me
Shinin’ until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Songwriters: Paul McCartney / John Lennon Let It Be lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc

And so let it be.

When the spiral of negative thinking begins, let it be. “I need sanctuary from the constant rerun of conversations and/or situations that have led to hurt feelings and a sense of rejection. I need sanctuary from the relentless inner conversations that distract me from living fully and hold me a prisoner in the role of victim… Over and again, I hear that I must be silent, to listen to the breath of God within me, to still the thoughts. And then, carry on (2020).”

When I feel an urgency to get beyond the discomfort of making a decision, let it be. “I shall allow myself the cushion (2018) of time needed to make any decision. There is no need to rush, to over-commit… I shall gently bump into the ever-so-soft cushion I have gifted myself as a reminder to listen to the ear of the heart.“

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January 19, 2026 0

The Healing Power of Soul Stories

“Vision stories, both empower and heal the soul. The right story told at the right time helps a soul knit together life‘s broken pieces. Stories work in the unconscious mind slowly through time, healing our spirits as we absorb their truths. Soul stories evoke a more powerful response than doctrine or precept. They transmit real life-changing power,” writes Rev. John Sumwalt, a retired United Methodist pastor whom I met on a Celtic Christianity pilgrimage to Ireland and Scotland.

John and I have stayed in touch since then, sharing our interests, writing, and travels. I am honored that he asked me to collaborate on a retreat day called “The Healing Power of Soul Stories” at the Unity Center in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, on Saturday, February 7. The one-day program sponsored by the Wisconsin Affiliate of the Association for Research and Enlightenment includes presentations and sharing sessions led by John Sumwalt , Philip Hasheider, and myself (see article for bios.)

Article in Agri-View, a Madison, Wisconsin newspaper, written by John Sumwalt.

We come into this world as carriers of stories. We carry generational stories, universal stories, and our own personal stories–stories that tell us something about ourselves and our God. Our SoulCollage® cards tell our soul story, reflecting parts of our inner self and archetypes, or larger energies, that have chosen to work in us. “Stories give us hope, a little guidance, and a lot of bravery,” writes Sue Monk Kidd. It is through our stories that we come to know the Divine. Frederick Buechner goes a step further–“to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually.” SoulCollage® has been an essential prayer practice of listening to the stories of my life. I look forward to sharing!

For more information and a registration form, go HERE.

John Sumwalt writes for a number of publications including United Methodist Insight., Agri-View, and has several books.

January 15, 2026 0

Flowers and Fear, Side by Side

January 2026 Oblate Reflections, Christ the King Priory, Schuyler, Nebraska

Theme: Balance and Moderation; Lectio Divina: Matthew 6: 25-34

Sources: Wisdom Distilled from the Daily, Joan Chittister, Chapter 6 “Monastic Mindfulness: A Blend of Harmony, Wholeness, Balance; In place of confusing life patterns, the security of a healthy balance – The Holy Rule of St. Benedict Podcast w/ Fr. Mauritius Wilde, OSB

Our Lectio Divina reading mentions ‘worry’ six times. Our default emotion can be to worry in the face of an uncertain future, when we fear the worst or feel there may not be enough time, money, food, or stuff. Some of us worry more than others. We are constantly fed cultural and marketing messages that tell us we will be more comfortable if we buy this, more admired if we buy that, safer if we own this, and happier with that. When do we have enough? How do we find a balance? What is the secret to less worry?

So often, we worry about what we have no control over, and our stewing does not change the outcome. Only our peace of mind and heart are disturbed. Joan Chittister writes, “We’re a people who lack awareness. We’re a world that has lost a sense of balance…To live a life of Benedictine awareness means we must come to see what we cannot. To the monastic mind, everything speaks of God. What I have and what I do not have. What I want and what I do not want….Life takes a sense of significance and a happy admission of insignificance.”

We matter. Our wants and our needs matter, yet we are not the center of the universe. We are significant and insignificant simultaneously. Humbly, we must admit that we are not in control of everything, everyone, or every outcome. Things happen, but God accompanies. Our worry does not help. Our controlling tendencies do not get us what we want. Our worry, in fact, is an impediment to living our present moment most fully.

In Matthew 6, it is written, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

These words can be comforting and a reminder that we can only do so much. We can put into action only what we can and let be what we cannot change. Recognizing and naming our emotions of worry and fear can be helpful. “Awareness of the sacred in life is what holds our world together and the lack of awareness and sacred care is what is tearing it apart,” writes Chittister.

Our attention is the first step. When we notice our attachment to physical things, habits, routines, our desire to fix, help, or solve, God is with us as we face our life in truth. Life gives us grief and uncertainty, over and over again. We must accept that this is part of the whole picture of our lives.

Chittister writes about a stained-glass window in the chapel of her monastery — each window carries a different concept, meaning, and design, yet they are not in conflict with one another. It is the light that gives each segment its integrity, blending them together as one. “What is it that makes for unity among the many opposing energies we meet in life that could instead become just so many instances of noisy clash and conflict? What is it that brings life together and nature and people together and the world together and nature together?”

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January 11, 2026 2

When The Moon is Full

“When we ‘name’ we connect… Naming allows for relationship. When we name anyone or anything, there’s the possibility of coming closer.” –Fragments of Your Ancient Name, Joyce Rupp

For millennia, people have looked to the moon to mark time, to guide their planting, harvesting, hunting, and gathering. Naming the full moon was both practical and sacred. The moon names were a way to notice, remember, and honor the patterns of the living world, drawing from the seasons and ordinary life events. It was also a way to remember that time itself is sacred, fleeting, passing with each full moon. For Native Americans, time was expressed by how many moons had passed.

“Many Native American peoples, and later the colonists who lived beside these winter lands, noticed how the wolves’ voices grew strongest when the year was at its emptiest. Food was scarce, snow lay deep, and the nights stretched wide and unbroken. And so this moon—January’s full moon—came to be known as the Wolf Moon, a name born from the simple truth of those winter evenings: wolves calling out to one another through the dark.” –Friends of the Forest

Recently, I led a Full Moon Soulfully You retreat with kindred spirits. We celebrated the diversity of names for the moon and read the endearing children’s book “When the Moon Is Full” by Penny Pollack.

Each month holds a rhythm of expansion and contraction—of growth, fullness, release, and renewal. Our spiritual journey and the seasons of our life align with the deep rhythms of the universe. Naming our longings and fears, the parts of ourselves that we might see as fragile or vulnerable, is holy work and prayer. Every aspect of our life has meaning, especially the challenging ones, the aspects of ourselves we hide out of fear that we’ll be misunderstood or judged. To live fully, wholly, holy, whole is to gather the fragments, the bones of who we are, and bless them. On retreat, we use the prayerful, creative SoulCollage practice to name these parts.

“Full moons come, full moons go, softening nights with their silver glow. They pass in silence, all untamed, but as they travel, they are named.” -When the Moon is Full, Penny Pollock

As you gaze at the full moon tonight (or any month), consider the following journaling or card-making prompts. Listen to the Full Moon chant, or like a wolf, howl at the moon!

What is your longing? What do you fear?
How can you hold your longings and fears together?
What part of yourself would you like to name?
Is there a name or archetype you want to embrace?
What name for the Divine resonates with you?
Are you in a season of darkness? Does it need to be named?

May the Full Moon remind you of your blessings, tonight and for many moons to come!

There are never enough names and images for what we love. -Dorothee Soelle

January 3, 2026 0

Light (and Darkness): 2025 Word of the Year in Review

It is good to remember that light and darkness cannot be separated. There is always a little glimpse of the other.

When life runs like a well-oiled machine, and things are going our way, confidence is high, and joy is palpable. It is then that we begin to feel invincible—that this good fortune is what we deserve. When the inevitable challenges, losses, or setbacks come, we feel the wind knocked out of our sails.

On the other hand, to succumb to darkness, despair, or hopelessness is to snuff out the candle of hope that we must cling to, or what is this all for? Being Benedictine means holding both/and—seeking the light while also honoring and learning from the darkness.

“When we come to understand that everything in our world, including its darker aspects, derives from God, we begin to realize that much of what we perceive as “bad” is, from the divine perspective, simply another piece of the sacred whole…that which appears as darkness to us may very well be the beacon to our redemption.” -Niles Elliot Goldstein, God at the Edge

My guiding star, my 2025 Word of the Year, LIGHT, has helped me embrace this yin/yang reality in my life and the world.

“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we can’t. You must learn to live comfortably between effort and surrender.” -Danielle Orner Steph Edwards @toyoufromsteph

It is no secret that 2025 has been a tough year. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but it has felt more…well, just more than we could have imagined. (See truth-tellers like Heather Cox Richardson, Robert Reich, Rebecca Solnit, Parker Palmer, and Pope Leo who shine their light into the darkness of a threatened democracy, giving hope to those marginalized and suffering around the world. I have shared my truth on these matters here: Be The Light: A 4th of July Message.)

Personally, we started 2025 with unexpected news, challenges, and worries about family and friends. We lost Joe’s brother, Steve, in a tragic accident, but were comforted that two successful transplant surgeries resulted from his donated organs.

More here–Remembering Steven Gehr: OK. I know. Good. OK.

I missed my teacher colleagues in my first full year of retirement, but had more time for reading and writing, coffee and lunch dates, book discussions, and binge-watching Outlander. I attended the Okoboji Writers Retreat, led two SoulFully You retreats, and collaborated on another.

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January 1, 2026 0

O Antiphons: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

The traditional Advent hymn “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,” which many are familiar with, is a paraphrase of the lesser-known O Antiphons written by Benedictine monks in the Middle Ages. One of the oldest liturgical rituals in the Church, the O Antiphons have been sung since at least the 8th century. These short prayers, starting with O followed by a title given to the Messiah from Old Testament prophecies, are sung before the Magnificat during Evening Prayer from December 17–23, the last seven days before Christmas. Each antiphon describes God in terms of Old Testament traits and images.

Images and symbols that appear in dreams, art, literature, or scripture carry both personal and universal meaning. Serving as a bridge between the unconscious and the conscious, images can nourish our spirit. “Images open windows through which we can see realities formerly hidden from us. Images want to infuse themselves into us and to change us from the inside out, ” writes Anselm Grün.

Images are an essential part of rituals, prayer, self-reflection, and creativity. When practicing SoulCollage®, one of my favorite spiritual practices, images can guide us to a new level of awareness and reveal a deeper understanding of thought and feeling. Perhaps this is what attracts me to the tradition of praying the O Antiphons.

“Reflecting on the words and images prepares us to let Christ himself enter into us…We are all an image, an icon, of God. It is our task to become ever more like this unique image of God.”

Anselm Grün, A Time of Fulfillment: Spiritual Reflections for Advent and Christmas

The O Antiphons use images to help us envision the Christ we long for, and to draw us into a more profound connection to the God of history. “In the O-Antiphons the art of interpreting Old Testament text as images for the coming of Jesus Christ into the world becomes apparent.” (Anselm Grün) The repeated word “Come!” expresses our deepest longing for Christ. When we accept that we are not God, we yearn for fulfillment, for all that a Messiah can bring, not just in the hereafter but in the here and now. We long for wisdom, freedom, hope, peace, belonging, light, healing, salvation, dignity, protection, love, and accompaniment. Each of these longings is addressed in the O Antiphons.

For an extensive examination of our longings and the use of images in praying the O Antiphons, I highly recommend A Time of Fulfillment by Anselm Grün, a Benedictine monk from Münsterschwarzach Abbey, the motherhouse of the monastery of which I am an oblate.

Feel free to download and share any of the images in this reflection, or follow Being Benedictine on Facebook to share daily posts. Join the monks of St. John’s Abbey for each of the O Antiphons as Benedictine monks have done for 1300 years.

St. John’s Abbey sings O Antiphons: Holy Wisdom—