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Holy Darkness: An Advent Meditation

As a child, the Advent season was musically frustrating for me. With so many beautiful Christmas carols and hymns, I just could not fathom any reason why Catholics must wait until Christmas Eve to sing them. Every department store was playing Christmas songs. Television stations were showing Christmas movies and special programs.

Why wait?  

I prefer not to wait in many situations. For example, I would rather get to the destination of a planned vacation immediately than endure the hours it takes to drive or make the airline transfers needed to get there. I much preferred nursing my infant daughter, playing with her and watching her sleep to the nine months of back-aching pregnancy. When I want to write or create, I often need to wait for the inspiration to strike. Waiting can be an inconvenience, even excruciating, but there is no denying that we must wait for many good things in life.

I understand now why we wait to sing Christmas carols.  We are meant to recognize and practice waiting because, well, life is full of it. Advent teaches us that it is okay not to always get what we want or to get it immediately. Likely God has something for us to learn in the waiting. 

The origins of the word “advent” indicate that there is an impending arrival—that something or someone is to come.

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We could make a meditation of the origin and synonyms of Advent—

Christ is coming.

Christ emerges.

Christ makes an appearance.

We experience an occurrence of Christ.

Jesus Christ is born.

Christ will rise.

During Advent, we practice waiting in darkness for the light of Christmas Day. As we journey through the weeks, we circle around the Advent wreath lighting a new candle each week. Each candle is a reminder that we are getting closer,  that our waiting will end, that what we are waiting for will, indeed, come.

desire for christ

The Advent wreath symbolizes the coming of the birth of Jesus, the light of Christmas drawing near and the anticipation of the Christ-light breaking into our life and world. With each passing week, the candle represents our hope that light will dispel the darkness. So it is with our own becoming. We circle around the same issues, questions and problems in our lives, struggling with the dark and light within us and around us. And we pray that God breaks in, that the light will prevail. We wait in faith. We wait with hope.

Advent is the hope-filled longing for our Creator to be incarnated in the most perfect way. Advent embodies the concept of “vorfreude”, a German word meaning “anticipatory joy.” It captures that bursting-with-excitement, overflowing-with-enthusiasm, I-can-hardly-wait feeling. The Germans have a saying, “Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude!” which means “The greatest joy lies in the anticipation.” This is exactly how a child might look forward to Christmas Day—the waiting is both suspenseful and exciting.

But waiting is not always filled with “vorfreude.” Sometimes we wait in darkness—wondering when it will be over, worrying that it may never be or, even, giving up hope. It is the ritual of the Advent wreath that reminds us that darkness has an end. As we light the candles of the Advent we make our way around the circle, knowing that there is completion, that there is fullness in Christ. Advent is about hope even in the darkness.

darkness

A waiting person is a patient person. The word “patience” means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. Impatient people are always expecting the real thing to happen somewhere else and therefore want to go elsewhere….Waiting, then, is not passive. It involves nurturing the moment, as a mother nurtures the child that is growing in her womb.  Henri Nouwen, Eternal Seasons

Consider practicing lectio divina with the song “Holy Darkness”, composed by Dan Schutte (1988), inspired by St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) and sung by Susay Valdez. Meditate on the lyrics while listening. Allow the questions for reflection to guide your journaling or creativity.

“In the barren soil of your loneliness, there I will plant my seed.” 

“When the silence stills your spirit, will my riches fill your soul.”

“Holy darkness, blessed night, heaven’s answer hidden from our sight. As we await you, O God of silence, we embrace your holy night.”

  1. Holy Darkness is often a song at funerals. It speaks of desolation, grief, darkness. What needs to die in your life? What needs to be grieved?
  2. What is growing within you? What seed planted within is growing despite your affliction, grief or loneliness? How do you know God is still there in the darkness?
  3. What images in nature give you the blessed assurance of God?
  4. What do you consider God’s wealth or riches? What do you want you soul filled with?
  5. What image comes to mind when you consider resting in God, waiting during the darkness for the light to come?
  6. Read and reflect on other posts about darkness.

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Listen to Holy Darkness 

“When we come to understand that everything in our world, including its darker aspects, derives from God, we begin to realize that much of what we perceive as “bad” is, from the divine perspective, simply another piece of the sacred whole…that which appears as darkness to us may very well be the beacon to our redemption.” -Niles Elliot Goldstein, God at the Edge

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Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?

Where were you when the world stopped turnin’
That September day?­
Teachin’ a class full of innocent children
Or drivin’ on some cold interstate?

We remember when the world stopped turning because, for most of us, it felt as if it did. Time stood still. We remember where we were, who we were with, and how we felt. And, since then, we feel compelled to share our experience with others. I don’t think it’s about reliving tragedy, working through stages of grief or some kind of talk therapy, I think it’s more about remembering the connectedness we felt with the people we were with. We felt something together, a soul experience that goes beyond words—perhaps fear and despair, likely sadness and shock, but also a collective yearning for faith, hope, and love.

faith hope and love

Teachin’ a class full of innocent children
As a high school teacher, I sometimes forget that my students are really children, but there was never a day when I felt that more than September 11, 2001. Together, we witnessed the second hijacked airplane fly into the World Trade Center, watching both buildings crumble to the ground. The day the world stopped turning, I was profoundly aware that I was the adult and responsible for the children in my classroom. I felt an obligation to hold it together, to remain calm, to comfort, to help them process difficult feelings and to find a reflective, intelligent way to answer their questions with as much of a knowing “I don’t know” that I could muster. Continue reading “Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?”

Images of Faith: My Grandma and the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Images are so powerful. They tap into the pool of memories, both personal and universal, that are deep within us. One image can be understood in so many ways—for different people, faiths, and cultures or for the same person over time.

Recently when the Sacred Heart of Jesus popped out in my Facebook newsfeed, memories of my grandma came flooding back. 

sacred heart of jesus 1

She had a framed image of the Sacred Heart between her living room and her kitchen. As a young child, I remember wondering why the heart had fire and blood on it…and, quite honestly, I was a little afraid of the image. I never asked about it and she never said anything either. Same with the rosary on her nightstand (pictured below). Or the prayer cards on her dresser. But I remember them. Those images communicated a deep faith in Catholicism and belief in and devotion to Jesus that I intuitively knew she had.

rosary

We didn’t talk about faith much, but she always encouraged her sons, their wives, and grandchildren to go to Church and she was so proud when I received my First Communion and Holy Confirmation. Her faith in God was important to her but she didn’t have to use many words to communicate that.Communion Confirmation Continue reading “Images of Faith: My Grandma and the Sacred Heart of Jesus”

An Advent Call of Humility: Mary and Zechariah

December 2017 Oblate Lectio Divina and Discussion

Topic: Advent and Humility

The value of lectio divina is that how we read and understand Scripture is influenced by what is happening in our life. The richness of these stories can breathe new life into us and bring new thoughts for us to consider again and again.

sacred reading

The second week of Advent: We are to prepare for his coming here and now. We read two Gospels—Luke 1:5-25 and Luck 1: 26-38. In light of these stories of Zechariah and Mary, how do we receive the call with humility, in our decisions, choices, and way of life? What is the role of humility in these two stories? Continue reading “An Advent Call of Humility: Mary and Zechariah”

The Gospels: The Story of Jesus

God does so much and asks so little

god does so much

The past several days I have read all four Gospels of the New Testament—Matthew, Mark, Luke, AND John. And not just the miracles or the well-known parables, but from beginning to end; every chapter, every verse. And for each of the Gospels, I’ve also read a chapter in my textbook, The New Testament by Stephen L. Harris, for a class I’m taking at Creighton University. Each chapter comments on key topics, themes, author, date and place of composition, various sources used, the intended audience and interpretations.

I don’t have the words yet for all that I’ve learned, but that’s also why I’m procrastinating. I need to find some words (very soon) to write an 1800 word paper, due in 48 hours, responding to this prompt: Explain the story of the life of Jesus as portrayed in the Gospel of John, and compare it to either Matthew or Luke and how this might relate to ministry today.

I trust the words will come, but this first. Here goes….

Surprisingly (to me) each of the four Gospels share a unique portrayal of Jesus, his life, death, resurrection, and ultimate purpose of all of the above. Ninety percent of the content in the Gospel of John is not in the other three synoptic Gospels. Who knew?Continue reading God does so much and asks so little

Luke vs. John: An 1800ish word paper

the wordA few of you asked to read the paper…and now that it is graded (94%), I feel confident enough to share the-just-shy-of-1800-words that I wrote.  I would love to hear what you think, whether you have ever read all four Gospels in their entirety, and what resonates most with your spirituality.

Jodi Gehr
Word Count: 1794

Each of the Gospels contributes to an understanding of who Jesus is. The Gospel of Luke shares Jesus as bringing a universal faith under the direction of the Spirit; John focuses on the power and divinity of Jesus to confer salvation and immortality (Harris 110, 189). The themes, characters, teachings and post-resurrection interpretations for each of the gospels support these unique aspects of Jesus. The relationship between John and Luke could be stated: the Johannine Jesus shows who God is while Luke shows people how to be God-like in their lives.  Read all 1800ish words here.  

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