Being Benedictine

Steven Gehr, my husband’s oldest brother at 66 years old, passed away in the early morning hours of Sunday, January 26, 2025. After a tragic accident, Steve was placed on a ventilator to assist his breathing, and within hours it was breathing for him. It was clear that letting Steve go was the best decision; he would be physically unable to live the joyful, carefree life he knew. The oldest child of seven children born to Marvin and Mary Gehr, Steve was born with intellectual disabilities. Steve was the center of the family, bringing everyone together in the spirit of joy with his huge grin and infectious laugh. His joy was everyone’s joy.

Steve’s life became the seed for new life when he was approved to be an organ donor. The decision to pursue the organ donation process was influenced by our family experience of loss just two years ago. Alan, Steve’s brother, lost his life partner Greg when he passed waiting for a liver transplant. It was a difficult few days waiting for organ recipient arrangements, but knowing others will receive Steve’s liver and kidneys brings peace.

There is so much we love about Steve.

Steve got excited about things that were special to him—visits to the Goodwill to look for records, family gatherings, trips to McDonald’s (cheeseburger, French fries, Diet Coke), opening Christmas presents, having a Diet Coke or red coffee (the Folgers label that has caffeine.) The simplest things brought him so much joy, and his joy lit up the room.

Steve loved family get-togethers. When he returned to Glenwood, where he lived in a group home, he would already be talking about his next visit. In the fall, he envisioned Thanksgiving dinner, reciting the line-up of menu items, ticking off the list by counting on his hand—turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, white dressing (Ranch, which he could eat by the spoonful), pumpkin pie, and so on.