Being Benedictine

Barbie is a big deal. The smash-hit movie “Barbie” has reached the coveted billion-dollar mark at the global box office and its director, Greta Gerwig, had the highest-grossing opening weekend ever for a film directed by a woman. Millions of women—from 20 something to 70 something—have donned pink attire with their besties or their daughters—and headed to the theatres for pre-movie selfies and a trip down memory lane.

Barbie is a big deal. And, yes, even some guys have gone to the movie and enjoyed it! Every major newspaper, magazine, and news organization has weighed in on a variety of Barbie themes from feminism, patriarchy and consumerism to mother-daughter relationships, authenticity, and existentialism. Since I saw Barbie with one of my besties, Katie, a few weeks ago, I have read dozens of commentaries on the film. One’s reaction to the movie, or, for that matter, any cultural, social, or political phenomenon, cannot be separated from our own interests, values, biases, and experiences.

My experience includes fond memories of playing with my Barbie dolls–selecting special clothes my parents told me Mrs. Clause had personally tailored, organizing my wardrobe suitcase and setting up camp with a Barbie drive-camper. My daughter celebrated a Barbie-themed birthday, loved her Pepto-Bismol pink bedroom with Barbie comforter and curtains, and had all the Barbie things, even a lunchbox. Barbie captured the imaginations of little girls, and when they became mothers, their little girls enjoyed them as well.

I absolutely loved the movie--from the set and costume design (I mean, a life-sized Barbie house!), the special effects, the song selections and dancing, the clever comedy/satire, the Birkenstocks and the many feminist themes that elevated the movie to one for serious discussion. Katie, and I shared laughs and tears, many de-briefing conversations, and a commitment to see the movie again. My one wish–that I can also see it with my daughter someday.

But, this is what I have been considering: Is Barbie being Benedictine? Yes! I see a few themes in the Barbie movie that provide a glimpse of what it means to be Benedictine.

Barbie considers her death.

Early in the movie, Barbie asks her friends, “Do you guys ever think about dying?” This existential question is the impetus for Barbie’s (s)hero’s journey, one of curiosity, self-discovery, and transformation, depicted in religious literature, myths, and poetry since the beginning of storytelling. When Barbie’s perfect plastic curves are met with the disappointment of flat feet, cellulite, and clumsy accidents, she attempts to restore the status quo. She experiences a “dark night of the soul,” desperate only for life to go back to the way it was (as she lies face down, in humility, pining for untroubled times.)

When faced with our own mortality, we come face-to-face with the certain uncertainty of our lives. When Barbie adventures into the Real World, where events are not contrived, she is faced with the purpose and meaning of her life, eyes opened to embracing both joy and suffering, aging and death.

St. Benedict advises in his Rule, to “Keep death daily before your eyes.” These thoughts of death make Barbie more human, real, authentic—once she realizes her own mortality, she cannot unsee it. Her old life has gone, and a new way must be birthed. Barbie is becoming.

Barbie listens.

In one of the most poignant scenes in the film, Barbie is overwhelmed with the stimuli of the Real World. She pauses to sit down on a bench to consider her next steps. This act of pausing to contemplate is the epitome of being Benedictine.

The first word of the Rule of St. Benedict is “Listen.” Judith Valente writes in How to Live: What the Rule of St. Benedict Teaches Us About Happiness, Meaning, and Community:

“Listening in the Benedictine sense is not a passive mission. Benedict tells us we must attend to listening…Obedience (one of the three Benedictine promises when making monastic vows) comes from the Latin, oboedire, to give ear, to harken, to listen. The Benedictine writer Esther de Waal says that obedience moves us from our “contemporary obsession with the self” and inclines us toward others.” 

Barbie, indeed, is sensing the world, not just from her own perspective, but from other humans she meets on her adventure. To “listen with the ear of the heart” requires a time of silence to both quiet the thoughts in our head and the voices of others, and to intuit our own answers. Listening requires being open to deeper insights and new ways of seeing. This was the most real-world moment in the movie for me. When life gets confusing or overwhelming, I must have time for silence to focus, listen and pay attention to my inner guidance.

Benedictine writer, Enzo Bianchi writes, “We grow in the spiritual life to the extent that we descend into the depths of listening. Listening means not only confessing that another is present but also making space in ourselves for this presence, to the point that we become the dwelling place of the Other…. (we) offer hospitality to others by listening to them. (Echoes of the Word, A New Kind of Monk on the Meaning of Life)

So often we look to others for insight and guidance, but this encouragement to seek within was evident in the lyrics of Closer to Fine, written and first recorded by the Indigo Girls, which Barbie (and Gloria) sang.

And I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
(The less I seek my source)
Closer I am to fine, yeah

We cannot find definitive answers by listening to others. We are “closer to fine,” the more we pause to listen to our inner Source. We offer hospitality to others when we accept that they, too, must find their own way.

Barbie evolves.

Barbie Land, the manufactured reality portrayed in the movie, does not allow for Barbie or her friends to experience the rawness of unexpected pain, disappointment, or frustration, nor the exhilaration of surprise, a sense of accomplishment, or being awestruck. But in the Real Word, Barbie feels all the feelings.

When Barbie pauses to listen within, she sees an older woman sitting next to her on the bench. Barbie smiles in what seems nothing short of awe and tells her, “You’re so beautiful.” The woman responds, “I know it.” I imagine that Barbie is witnessing the wisdom, beauty, and confidence of this aging woman, something she had never seen in her seemingly perfect world. Barbie is becoming.

Embracing the reality of the human body, and acknowledging that we, too, shall die, is a reminder not to take life so seriously. One’s flat foot does not need to conform to a stiletto nor need you let cellulite weigh you down (pun intended.) Clearly, I’ve traded my high heels of youth for Birkenstocks (see text between Katie and me.) Barbie evolves by accepting the beauty of aging as the gift of being human.

When fleeing the Real World, Barbie meets Ruth Handler, the spirit of the inventor of Barbie. She tells Barbie that she will forever be evolving, that she is never “finished.” The Benedictine promise of conversatio morum, or conversion of life, “is the recognition that we are all on a journey and always changing… Conversion calls us to release our hold on our certainty and move more into an openhearted place of unknowing, and accepting the great mystery that pulses at the heart of everything. ” (Lectio Divina, The Sacred Art: Transforming Words & Images into Heart-Centered Prayer, Christine Valters Paintner)

“Stereotypical” Barbie begins to see herself and others as unique, diverse, and equally special individuals. She contemplates “What was I made for?” sung by Billie Eilish.

What was I made for? 
Think I forgot how to be happy
Somethin' I'm not, but somethin' I can be
Somethin' I wait for
Somethin' I'm made for

'Cause I, I
I don't know how to feel
But I wanna try
I don't know how to feel
But someday, I might
Someday, I might

Ken is also on a pilgrimage of his own to learn his place in the world (he ultimately realizes he is “Kenough.”) Part of Barbie and Ken’s conversion of life embraces Benedictine values of hospitality, justice, and balance. They learn that one gender is not to be considered superior, nor deserves to have all power. The matriarchal power structure at the beginning of the film is just as oppressive as the Real World or Barbie Land after the patriarchal take-over waged by Ken. In each case, someone loses, someone is considered or feels less than, or is limited from reaching their fullest potential. The Rule of St. Benedict (RB 33) encourages, “let things be common to all” to live well in community. This is wisdom for Barbie Land and our Real World—to be fair to all giving each what she or he needs to be their fullest self.

Barbie is a big deal, but is Barbie being Benedictine?

Being Benedictine is an invitation to embrace the reality of death, to live each day with purpose, joy, and balance, to listen with the “ear of the heart” (obedience), to evolve, grow and learn (conversatio morum), to extend hospitality to others, and to work for justice. The Barbie movie is no Homer’s Odyssey, but it captures the essence of the (s)hero’s journey. Barbie tugs at the nostalgic heartstrings, is thought-provoking, entertaining, and points to some eternal truths. I give it a thumbs up for being just a little bit Benedictine.

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger