anxiety

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us. ―Saint Terese of Lisieux

During a season of uncertainty and anxiety, I typed out the prayer above, laminated it, taped it to my desk at school, and posted it in the bathroom I got ready in every day. While waiting for additional tests after receiving a cancer diagnosis, this prayer brought peace that excessive research and reason could not. What soothed my soul was a daily routine of silent meditation and praying the words written by Saint Thérèse of Lisieux (1873-1897), also known as the “Little Flower” whose Feast Day we observe on October 1. As with Lectio Divina, one word or phrase might speak to me differently, and I could carry it throughout the day. This practice helped me keep my sanity when literally nothing else helped.

Twelve years have passed since I was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL). Thankfully, medical treatment has not been required, and if I continue to be symptom-free, I only need to visit my oncologist every six months. As healthy months turn into years, I think about my diagnosis less. There are periods when I even forget that I have CLL, but the diagnosis changed my life forever. I am deeply intentional about living Soulfully; living with purpose, on purpose; being attentive to the present moment; practicing gratitude; making good choices and having no regrets; keeping “death daily before your eyes,” as St. Benedict writes; and leaving something beautiful from a life well-lived. But somewhere along the way, I stopped reading this prayer every day.

Set The World On Fire by Vinita Hampton Wright; translation of prayer by Carmen Acevedo Butcher. Original:
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

*— St. Teresa of Avila*

Continue reading →

Flood the world with love. These words came to me this morning after I woke up anxious and fearful. I had a disturbing dream, but it was more about what is happening in this country— a foreboding sense of hopelessness for the future, so much political tension, blatant racism and xenophobia, and strained relationships with, even aggressiveness from, those who don’t see what is so very wrong with the words and actions coming from the White House.

Flood the world with love. I remembered that several months ago I had written a blog post titled, Flood The World With Love, but I didn’t remember exactly what I had written, or why. As I read it again, I realized that my own words had come at just the moment I needed them.

Flood the world with love. Inspired by the lyrics of a Carrie Newcomer song, what I wrote gave me enough light to start my day with the hope that if I just flood the world with love, I am doing something.

Flood the world with love. I had written about practicing lectio divina with both song (“I Heard an Owl” by Carrie Newcomer, much-loved folk singer, and spiritual teacher) and scripture.

I heard an owl call last night
Homeless and confused
I stood naked and bewildered
By the evil people do

Up upon a hill there is a terrible sign
That tells the story of what darkness waits
When we leave the light behind.

Don’t tell me hate is ever right or God’s will
Those are the wheels we put in motion ourselves
The whole world weeps and is weeping still
Though shaken I still believe
The best of what we all can be
The only peace this world will know
Can only come from love.

I am a voice calling out
Across the great divide
I am only one person
That feels they have to try
The questions fall like trees or dust
Rise like prayers above
But the only word is “Courage”
And the only answer “Love”

Light every candle that you can
For we need some light to see
In the face of deepest loss,
Treat each other tenderly
The arms of God will gather in
Every sparrow that falls
And makes no separation
Just fiercely loves us all.

(Carrie Newcomer, The Gathering of Spirits, 2001)

My heart is heavy with the darkness of the world, of “the evil people do” in the name of our own opinion, religion, political party, racial or economic privilege. Our collective anxiety, fear, anger, and hostility have led to so much division and violence—in our spirits and in relationships. We must