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Being Benedictine

Living SoulFully as an Oblate of St. Benedict

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decision making

Let it Be… and a little more light, please. (2026 Word of the Year)

In the tradition of ancient monastics, each year I ask for a word to ponder, a word that I will prayerfully focus my attention on for the new year.  It may be something I hope for or an attribute I want to cultivate in my life, but always for the surprise of what it might teach me, lessons I did not know needed to be learned.

The new word does not replace the old one, but enfolds, envelops, and encompasses it, another revolution on the spiral of my spiritual journey. As I reflect on the last several Words of the Year, this is still my truth: I want to hold all of life fully (2024)—the bittersweet moments and the sweet surprises, with “eyes open to wonder (2023), holy surprises, and synchronicity.” I want to see the light (2025) in the darkness. I want to be the light in the darkness.

Reflecting on a very challenging year and the tragedies, trauma, and “presidential” tirades of the first few weeks of 2026, it is clear—we need a little more light, please. And so, I hold light, my 2025 word of the year, in my heart as comfort and guide in tumultuous times, as a reminder to shine, safeguard, and trust the Divine light, and to add the mantra “Let it Be”.

On a recent SoulFully You retreat I guided, we explored how the human experience is a dance between dark and light, and that there is always a little glimpse of the other. Barbara Brown Taylor writes, “Suffering comes from our reluctance to learn to walk in the dark… Blessing the day means accepting my full quota of light and of dark, even what I cannot see what I am blessing.”

How do we carry both darkness and light in our daily lives?

Fr. Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk, founding member of Contemplative Outreach, and an integral figure in the Christian contemplative prayer movement, suggests using the Welcoming Prayer, which has deep roots in the monasticism of the desert fathers and mothers.

Together, we practiced a Welcoming Prayer guided by David Benner, founder of Cascadia Living Wisdom. Step 1 in the process is Focus; Step 2 is Welcome; Step 3 is Let it Be—“Remember Jesus’ words in the garden of Gethsemane, ‘Not my will but thine be done’…or think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, as she responded to the annunciation. Let it be. This response is at the heart of Paul McCartney’s song called Let it Be.”

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see; there will be an answer, let it be

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me
Shinin’ until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Songwriters: Paul McCartney / John Lennon Let It Be lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc

And so let it be.

When the spiral of negative thinking begins, let it be. “I need sanctuary from the constant rerun of conversations and/or situations that have led to hurt feelings and a sense of rejection. I need sanctuary from the relentless inner conversations that distract me from living fully and hold me a prisoner in the role of victim… Over and again, I hear that I must be silent, to listen to the breath of God within me, to still the thoughts. And then, carry on (2020).”

When I feel an urgency to get beyond the discomfort of making a decision, let it be. “I shall allow myself the cushion (2018) of time needed to make any decision. There is no need to rush, to over-commit… I shall gently bump into the ever-so-soft cushion I have gifted myself as a reminder to listen to the ear of the heart.

Continue reading “Let it Be… and a little more light, please. (2026 Word of the Year)”

Remember, You Are Free

Ever have one of those eyes-wide-open at 2:00 am moments of mind-racing, self-doubting, anxiety-stricken, what-if fretting? I had one such panic attack, recently, after making a big decision about the future of my work. I found myself wracked with despair, vacillating between whether I made the right decision or if I was making a mistake, despite having done my due diligence in heart, soul, and mind for many weeks.

In the morning light (and after several days), with the help of some calming meditation, conversations with good friends, and spiritual direction, I began to see more clearly—that it is normal when making big life changes to experience uncertainty, that I have been here before.

“For me, the process of discernment, especially when I have strong feelings or attachments, often begins with compulsive mental role-playing,” I wrote in 2019 when I was in a similar state of distress about making the right decision. But it was these words of wisdom that helped me get to the other side of anxiety, and at the root of it, fear.

YOU ARE FREE.

“I am free to make THIS decision, or I am free to make THAT decision. I am free to choose. It was the decision-making process that was binding me, making me a prisoner of my own thoughts. The freedom came from not being attached to one possibility or the other, one reaction, one outcome, one person, or one feeling. Accompanied by a stream of what ifs, fear had become the primary consideration in discerning what if I did THIS or what if I did THAT.”

This reflection on my 2019 word(s) of the year, YOU ARE FREE, still rings true today. Fear is at the root of anxiety, a response to uncertainty. Ironically, the only thing that is certain IS uncertainty. All else is an illusion of control. Brene Brown in Atlas of the Heart writes, “In a world where perfection, pleasing, and proving are used as armor to protect our egos and our feelings, it takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can’t control the outcome.”  

Fear of making mistakes, a symptom of perfectionism, can sabotage even soulful decision-making. Fear can lead to a sense of feeling trapped, nearly immobile, agonizing about whether there is a right or wrong, rather than accepting that a decision is simply a decision, that often there is no one right way. The Divine works in all our decisions no matter what forks in the road we may take. Fear, or regret, limits our ability to be open to surprises and from being fully present to what is. I am free to make this or that decision, trusting, knowing that I will continue to listen to how the Divine is working in new ways. It is freedom that brings peace.

Yes, you are free, too,” I wrote. “These words can be a prayer, an intention for yourself. Try it as an experiment. Ask yourself—What if I choose love instead of fear? What if I let go of what I am holding onto? What if I detach from what I want and, instead, accept that I am free, that God is with me whether I choose this or choose that?”

I captured the essence of these three words in a SoulCollage® card that embodies this sense of freedom. The image and words, YOU ARE FREE, have become a prompt for me to reflect on a dilemma or state of uncertainty from this perspective of liberation, encouraging me to move forward peacefully, soulfully, without obligation, burden, or restriction, in freedom.

Continue reading “Remember, You Are Free”

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