memories

Hee Haw. It’s been a long time since I thought of that corny country music comedy show that Dolly Parton often appeared on as a guest artist. But within minutes of hearing that beloved Dolly Parton, aka Saint Dolly, had passed away, my social media feeds and text messages were blowing up with shared memories of loving Dolly.

(Cover image credit: Kara Renee Art Apparently I am not the only one who called Dolly a saint. Search “Saint Dolly.” Incredible art!)

Watching Hee Haw as a little girl in the ‘70s and singing to the lyrics of Jolene and I Will Always Love You at my grandma’s house are my first, very fond memories of Dolly. My cousin Michelle and I would sit on our grandma’s couch listening to Dolly Parton albums.

We thought it was very cool when an album folded out and included the song lyrics. Sometimes we peacefully belted out the lyrics to a Dolly song, and other times we would tug that album cover back and forth, vying for more territory to see the lyrics better. Occasionally, our tugging resulted in a hair-pulling episode over who held the album cover the longest, or so our cousin Kim reports.

I have often shared my love for Dolly on social media. I admire her advocacy for education and literacy, as well as her generous book donations through Imagination Library. I admire her acceptance of self and others. She is known for saying, “I am comfortable in my own skin… I know who I am and I don’t try to be nobody else” and “I think everybody has the right to be who they are.” She used her voice to speak out for LGBTQ issues, Black Lives Matters, and Covid vaccinations.

A touching, more recent Dolly memory was from the 2019 Grammy Awards, when she performed her newest song, “Red Shoes,” from the Dumplin‘ movie soundtrack. I share the original reflection below.

Trappist monk Thomas Merton wrote, “For me to be a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and of discovering my true self.”

Dolly shined her light in life, finding her purpose, living authentically and encouraging others to do the same. Her light will perpetually shine in the lives she influenced. I will always love Dolly, and all she stood for. Rest in peace, good and faithful servant.

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Our Coral Anniversary: 35 Years of Marriage

Jodi Blazek ❤️ Joseph Gehr, August 17, 1985

A marriage is made of moments. When you string them all together, you get a picture of a life built together. A marriage isn’t made, once and for all, when the I-dos are exchanged. A marriage is constantly being recreated; it is always in the process of becoming.

A marriage goes through seasons: the spring of new life and hope, the summer of comfort and security, the autumn of changes and letting go, the winter of sadness and despair. A marriage will not survive without adapting to, enduring and celebrating the change of seasons. A marriage embraces all seasons.

A marriage provides a safe place to fall, a form of protection from the stresses of everyday life and also from more extreme challenges, like the pandemic we now face. The traditional symbol for a 35^th anniversary is coral, an organic material found in warm seas. Coral takes many years to form—much like the strength of a marriage made of moments. Coral is a symbol of protection—providing essential habitat structure and energy for 25% of the world’s ocean life, including young fish. How fitting that coral is the symbol of our 35th year of marriage, a year where we have found much safety in each other’s company.

104633941_10222554675045965_7780876847106615467_n — Visiting Jessica in Madison during the summer, 2020.

Marriage includes the necessary and mundane—doing laundry, taking out the trash, paying bills, fixing, washing, mowing, checking things off the list of things to do, arguing about checking things off, thanking each other for checking things off.

After 35 years of marriage, Joe and I have so many “remember when” moments, the makings of great storytelling or one-liners that no one else understands but us. Funny, sad, silly, stupid, poignant, heartwarming, memorable moments. Moments we’d like to forget and moments we have to forgive. But, mostly, moments that have helped us become who we are.

A marriage is made of moments. Some of our earlier moments: Continue reading “Our Coral Anniversary: 35 Years of Marriage” →

August 16, 2020 6

The Vow of Stability: A Marriage Made of Moments

Jodi Blazek ❤️ Joseph Gehr, August 17, 1985

I believe more each day that it is only in the stability of marriage, enduring the weather of every season, that one can reap the true benefits of a life lived together. Advice to young couples: Stick with it. Don’t give up. I promise, with effort, love, respect, and forgiveness, your marriage will endure and you will be so happy it did!

A marriage is made of moments.

August 16, 2019 2

In a Pair of Red Shoes

“And if God sees fit to hold me
Anyone that’s ever known me
Know I’d walk the gold streets only
In a pair of red shoes.”

My friend, Colleen, loved red shoes. But I didn’t know this about her until her Aunt Bea shared a story at her funeral.

Colleen 1 — SoulCollage® card remembering Colleen.

What a silly thing to say at a funeral, but for “some reason” I told Bea that I loved the beautiful red shoes she had on. Sometimes things fly out of my mouth without any consideration to how they might sound—and today was no exception. But, of course, there was a reason.

Aunt Bea immediately connected the shoes to Colleen. Just a few months earlier, Colleen had borrowed those red shoes on an evening when she and her sisters were going out dancing, something they loved to do together. Aunt Bea commented how much Colleen loved to dance; telling us that Colleen believed when you dance you have to wear high-heeled shoes. It was a nice story of when Colleen was joyful and doing what she loved most—dancing. There is comfort in storytelling and remembering.

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February 10, 2019