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Living SoulFully as an Oblate of St. Benedict

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St. Brigid of Kildare: Standing on the Threshold

What do a threshold, a cow, fire, and water have in common? 

St. Brigid of Kildare! 

Recently I was introduced to St. Brigid while preparing for a Celtic Christianity pilgrimage and she could not have arrived at a more apt time for me. Admittedly, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole (or holy well?) of the legends and stories of St. Brigid, a 5th-century abbess and founder of monasteries. St. Brigid is known by many names —Bhride, Bride, Brighid, Brigid, Bridget—and many titles including Muire na nGael (Mary of the Irish) Brigid of the Mantle, Brigid of the Fire, and Mary of the Gael. Brigid is recognized as the patron of midwives including new beginnings, birth, thresholds, and transformation. She has also been linked to fire, blacksmiths, wells, healing waters, springs, and poets. This year, 2024, is the 1500th anniversary of the death of St. Brigid with many celebrations and for the first year has been declared a national holiday in Ireland.

The Threshold

Legend holds that Brigid was born in the doorway of a barn at dawn, at the threshold between light and dark, inside and outside, winter and spring. She is celebrated on February 1, the anniversary of her death, and the same day as the Celtic Feast of Imbolc. Imbolc, a celebration of the Celtic sun goddess Brigid is the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere. Imbolc, which literally means “in the belly”, celebrates the change of seasons, a threshold time of welcoming more sunlight in the day. What is hidden in the earth’s dark belly is beginning to stir—darkness gives way to light and spring is coming!  

Continue reading “St. Brigid of Kildare: Standing on the Threshold” →
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PlayFULLY You: Pixie Dust and the Pink Motel

I am one who is playful, spirited, and connected in good company with wise women. The “pink motel” is a place of pixie dust and playfulness, joy, humor, carefree delights, childhood innocence, and magical moments.

One of the sweet surprises of SoulCollage® is when images come together to capture the essence of a memory, message, feeling, or archetype so effortlessly. This card reminds me of a recent playful, weekend gathering of friends. The women standing on the hayrack spoke to me of comradery, comfort, and community. It was later that I noticed the small child beside his mother. From a child’s vantage point, the energy in a room can easily shift from adult-ing to playfulness. Tinkerbell, the spirited fairy, spreads pixie dust and playfulness over adults and children alike—one can be both grown-up, wise, sober, AND playful, friendly, and funny. We can live more fully by embracing the playful child within.

My intention for 2024 is to live FULLY— “To be SoulFully You is to live prayerfully, joyfully, playfully, gratefully, mindfully, soulfully.” (2024 Word of the Year)

The spirit of Tinkerbell was alive and well on our farm weekend. Soom playful memories:

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2024 Word of the Year: FULLY

Choosing a word to focus on each year has become a nourishing, soulful ritual. I savor the word, that more so chooses me, throughout the year—it brings great joy when in perfect synchronicity, it appears over and again in what I read, hear, and see. I trust that the word, as it settles in my heart, will be a guiding light for months to come—challenging, inspiring, and transforming me.

My 2024 word of the year, FULLY, is a throwback to ten years ago when I birthed and named my first website and creative venture, SoulFully You. I participated in training to become a certified SoulCollage® facilitator, to lead retreats on creativity and spirituality. As a Marketing teacher, creating a brand name felt like the best first step. With my daughter Jessica and her friend Claire (both students of my high school classes) we brainstormed a variety of words, phrases, and combinations, and then it clicked, that “aha moment” of knowing I have come to trust—SoulFully You. I loved what it meant, and still do. The image at the top of this page, a SoulCollage® card to represent SoulFully You, came later.

Being SoulFully You is living with purpose, on purpose; being attentive to the present moment; practicing gratitude; making good choices and having no regrets; living with death daily before your eyes, as St. Benedict writes; and leaving something beautiful from a life well-lived. It is living life to the fullest, using the gifts and talents you have while being open and responsive to opportunities and surprises that come your way.

A tree gives glory to God by being a tree.

Thomas Merton

Being SoulFully You is discovering and becoming all that God has created you to be. Thomas Merton writes, “For me to be a saint means to be myself.” The call to be holy is the call to be more fully myself, just as a tree gives glory to God by being a tree.

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Remember, You Are Free

Ever have one of those eyes-wide-open at 2:00 am moments of mind-racing, self-doubting, anxiety-stricken, what-if fretting? I had one such panic attack, recently, after making a big decision about the future of my work. I found myself wracked with despair, vacillating between whether I made the right decision or if I was making a mistake, despite having done my due diligence in heart, soul, and mind for many weeks.

In the morning light (and after several days), with the help of some calming meditation, conversations with good friends, and spiritual direction, I began to see more clearly—that it is normal when making big life changes to experience uncertainty, that I have been here before.

“For me, the process of discernment, especially when I have strong feelings or attachments, often begins with compulsive mental role-playing,” I wrote in 2019 when I was in a similar state of distress about making the right decision. But it was these words of wisdom that helped me get to the other side of anxiety, and at the root of it, fear.

YOU ARE FREE.

“I am free to make THIS decision, or I am free to make THAT decision. I am free to choose. It was the decision-making process that was binding me, making me a prisoner of my own thoughts. The freedom came from not being attached to one possibility or the other, one reaction, one outcome, one person, or one feeling. Accompanied by a stream of what ifs, fear had become the primary consideration in discerning what if I did THIS or what if I did THAT.”

This reflection on my 2019 word(s) of the year, YOU ARE FREE, still rings true today. Fear is at the root of anxiety, a response to uncertainty. Ironically, the only thing that is certain IS uncertainty. All else is an illusion of control. Brene Brown in Atlas of the Heart writes, “In a world where perfection, pleasing, and proving are used as armor to protect our egos and our feelings, it takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can’t control the outcome.”  

Fear of making mistakes, a symptom of perfectionism, can sabotage even soulful decision-making. Fear can lead to a sense of feeling trapped, nearly immobile, agonizing about whether there is a right or wrong, rather than accepting that a decision is simply a decision, that often there is no one right way. The Divine works in all our decisions no matter what forks in the road we may take. Fear, or regret, limits our ability to be open to surprises and from being fully present to what is. I am free to make this or that decision, trusting, knowing that I will continue to listen to how the Divine is working in new ways. It is freedom that brings peace.

“Yes, you are free, too,” I wrote. “These words can be a prayer, an intention for yourself. Try it as an experiment. Ask yourself—What if I choose love instead of fear? What if I let go of what I am holding onto? What if I detach from what I want and, instead, accept that I am free, that God is with me whether I choose this or choose that?”

I captured the essence of these three words in a SoulCollage® card that embodies this sense of freedom. The image and words, YOU ARE FREE, have become a prompt for me to reflect on a dilemma or state of uncertainty from this perspective of liberation, encouraging me to move forward peacefully, soulfully, without obligation, burden, or restriction, in freedom.

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A Golden Threshold

I am one at the threshold.

I am one who sees the fullness of darkness and light. I see golden. I see through the eyes of a child, as well as the wise and wondering woman. I see myself reflected in beauty and patterns, knowing there is a big and a small picture.

I am one who is looking forward while also considering the past. Both/and. The wise woman and the apprehensive child.
I am one who sees there is more than meets the eye, and that things aren’t always as they seem.

I am one who reflects what is. When I change my stance, what I see in myself may be different. The sculpture embodies stability. It stands firm, but the images that result can be changed. It captures the essence of being Benedictine—there is stability and movement.

I am one who is responsive, seeing beyond what is.

Consider using images and collage to learn more about who you are. What does A Golden Threshold mean to you? Meditate on the image and see what intuitively comes to you about darkness and light, about embracing both as a golden moment. Is there a threshold moment in your life that could use this way of seeing?

More on how to SoulCollage.

I’m being called to enter the silence. To dream and rest. To create an opening for possibilities and potential still to come. To tend the seed that is even now gestating in the dark. Held in the cave of both past and future, I’m wrapped in the warmth of myths and ancient ways. Held by the ancestral mothers, I enter the stillness of this time. Words by ~ © Arlene Bailey FB: The Sacred Wild, Re-Membering the Wild Soul Woman Amazing

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger

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Poems Come Out of Wonder

After canceling everything on my calendar this weekend (between a teacher work week and our first week with students….yes, eye twitching and back-to-school dreams are real), I revisited a poem and a SoulCollage® card I created on The Grandeur of God: Living Life with Wonder and Awe retreat. I gave myself permission to hunker down, pull back from social activities, and center myself in silence and solitude for my 27th year of teaching.

I love this poem from a book called Out of Wonder: Poems Celebrating Poets.

“Majestic” (Celebrating Maya Angelou)

Rise
into the wonder
of daybreak.

Be a rainbow in the cloud.
Be a free bird on the back of the night wind.
Shine on, honey!

Walk with joy in your golden feet
over crystal seas
and purpled mountains.

Know your beauty
is a thunder
your precious heart unsalable.

Be brave,
Like a new seed bursting
with extraordinary promise.

Shine on, honey!
Know you
are phenomenal.

            --Kwame Alexander
Poem of the Week: Majestic, Tewksbury Public Library

“I am one who” reflection: 

I am one who is surrounded by beauty and love. 
I am one who finds beauty in nature and all that glitters. 
I am on a journey of peace, serenity, and wholeness. 
On this journey, I can offer what is special about me to others; but when needed, I can hold my gifts close and tight.
I am one who must never forget to take time to pause; I can take moments for peace, serenity, and beauty that ultimately, is the guide to the Christ-center, the sole/soul purpose of my life.

It is only after taking time to pause, that I am able to celebrate “the wonder of daybreak.”

I will be phenomenal after a weekend of rest.

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger

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The Grandeur of God: Care for Creation and for the Vulnerable

I have been enchanted by the poem The Grandeur of God, by Gerard Manley Hopkins, for years. I practiced Lectio Divina, a sacred reading practice, with this poem and wrote about it in God’s Grandeur: Praying with Poetry.

I cannot confess to understanding every word of this Victorian-era sonnet, published nearly 30 years after Hopkins’ death in 1889, but I feel the same passion for the beauty and sacredness of creation “that gathers to a greatness like the ooze of oil / Crushed” with which he writes. Hopkins writes with celebratory confidence,

“And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things”

But we know as global temperatures rise, more droughts, storms, rising sea levels, melting glaciers and warming oceans are impacting both human and animal life. Nature has been used and abused in so many ways. Is it true that “nature is never spent?” Can this earth withstand the heavy burden of “man’s smudge…and smell?” Indeed, we seek comfort in the notion that the sun will always rise as “the brown brink eastward, springs” and always sets as “last lights off the black West went.”

We hope for the future of our planet, but we must be caretakers, not just takers. We must be co-creators with the Divine to ensure the “grandeur of God,” our planet, is full of wonder and awe for future generations.

“Glance at the sun. See the moon and the stars. Gaze at the beauty of earth’s greenings. Now, think. What delight God gives to humankind with all these things. All nature is at the disposal of humankind. We are to work with it. For without we cannot survive.”

-Hildegard of Bingen
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Synchronicity and Holy Surprise

Synchronicities may seem like a rarity, but especially on retreat, it feels like these holy surprises happen often. Someone shares a story that resonates with another; an image appears just when one is seeking it; a deeper meaning is discovered creating a SoulCollage® card. There is an inkling of something more, a sense of being very near to the “thin place,” buoyed and embraced by the Divine. I wonder, do these moments actually happen more often than we notice?

Recently on retreat, our opening prayer invited us to be grateful for “moments of synchronicity and holy surprise.” Mary, Queen of Angels, a blessing from Birthing the Holy: Wisdom from Mary to Nurture Creativity and Renewal by Christine Valters Painter, prompted a discussion on synchronicity.

Marilyn, who has been to many retreats over the last several years (and is also my dad’s first cousin…another serendipitous story) was curious about the definition, so we looked it up:  

Simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related, YES! But rather than events having “no discernible causal connection,” I think of synchronicities as connections seen with the inner eye. They are holy coincidences. Both mysterious and meaningful, these holy surprises open our eyes in new ways. The voice of synchronicity encourages us to be aware, to look and listen deeply. Throughout our retreat, we enjoyed identifying these many moments with an exuberant, “That’s synchronicity!”

A few days after our retreat, when we were all back to our daily life, I received a card in the mail from Marilyn. She had written, “I hope the picture on this card brings you a moment of serenity.”

Indeed, it did, and a giddy feeling of serendipity! I love the image on the card so much that some twenty years ago I purchased a signed and numbered canvas of it titled “Pages of Time” by Gene Roncka and it is hanging in my kitchen!

Smiling in amazement, and yet not as surprised anymore when synchronicities occur, I took a photo of both and sent a message to Marilyn. She responded, “This is absolutely surreal. And I think it may be synchronicity.

I forwarded the photo to our retreat group with the message— “Can you say synchronicity?”

 C.J. Jung, who popularized the term synchronicity, believed that life was not just a series of random events. Waking up to meaningful coincidences, he said, “could shift our thinking so we recognize a greater wholeness in all of creation…It could precipitate a spiritual awakening.”

There are so many invisible forces and connections weaving a web that holds us in its grace. The more we look, the more we see. It is only with eyes open to wonder, holy surprises, and synchronicity that we experience the humbling and awesome fall to our knees. There we are uplifted by invisible forces and surrounded by angels who “walk among us in seen and unseen forms.” In these moments, we see new pathways and possibilities. I agree with Brian McLaren who said “The closest thing to God is when we say WOW!” Holding tight to this knowing sustains us when our faith is not as strong or challenges present themselves.

 

I used the Pages in Time card from Marilyn to create a SoulCollage card I titled “Sit A Spell.”

“You who sing among the angels, help us to feel their sheltering and guiding presence in our days. Reveal to us all the ways we are held, comforted, uplifted by invisible forces; remind us to call out for help when needed and to lean into the grace so freely offered to us. Let us see how angels walk among us in seen and unseen forms; encourage us to offer gratitude for moments of synchronicity and holy surprise when we are met with kindness and sacred possibility, when we see a new pathway where before was only bramble. Mary, Queen of Angels…help us to know you walk beside us always.” -Christine Valters Painter

 

More reflections on synchronicity:

In a Pair of Red Shoes

 
Some additional sources on synchronicity:

Faith and the Intuitive Arts

Carl Jung and Synchronicity: The Search for Meaning in Coincidence

The Power of Synchronicity and How It Can Shape Our Lives

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger

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A Child in a Straw Hat

Planning a retreat begins, not with brainstorming, but with a holy surprise. I have retreat dates scheduled years in advance including every Advent, but a theme unfolds only when the timing is just right. Usually, six months to a year before the retreat dates, I send out a signal to the Divine that I’m looking for an idea. In my spiritual reading, combined with following a variety of spiritual writers, religious leaders, poets, and musicians on social media, I look for synchronicities…sort of like “retreat radar.” It could be a profound quotation, an image, lyrics from a song, a blessing, or a prayer that grabs me—that’s when the ideas begin to flow, a pattern develops, a theme is revealed, and a retreat begins to take shape.

Several months before the 2022 Advent retreat, I spent more time than usual with my SoulCollage® cards—photographing and uploading each to a SoulCollage® app, considering archetypal energies that were expressed, contemplating the time of life the card was created, and how the meaning may have changed. I realized I had dozens of cards with images of Mary, or feminine and mothering energy, in them. Over the years, I read several books about the many sightings of Mary and sacred pilgrimages to Marian shrines, and my curiosity grew. Realizing the impact Mary had on so many of my cards, I felt the tug to take a deeper dive into what Mary might reveal in my spiritual journey. Time to read those books on my shelf that I hadn’t quite gotten to and, confession, I purchased several new books. I made Mary an all-out research project.

The book that initially inspired the Advent retreat “Pregnant with the Holy: Exploring Your Inner Mary” is Birthing the Holy: Wisdom from Mary to Nurture Creativity and Renewal by Christine Valters Painter, one of my favorite spiritual writers and abbess of the online Benedictine community, Abbey of the Arts. Each chapter focuses on a title given to Mary, providing the reader with a window into qualities we can call upon in ourselves. I chose to focus on several names for Mary including Queen, Mother, Virgin, Chosen, Theotokos, and Untier of Knots as well as the Annunciation, Mary’s response to a holy invitation, using poetry, music, art, icons, various articles, and excerpts from my reading.

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