Meeting the Pope is a big deal. Recently I wrote about the 5th World Congress of Benedictine Oblates and the private audience that Oblates had with Pope Francis. Jaime Williams, an Oblate of Christ the King Priory, was in the private audience and was profoundly impacted. I asked him to share his experience and he graciously accepted.

A “Being Benedictine” Reflection by Jaime Williams:

Two plus weeks after the most extraordinary handshake in my life, I still struggle to comprehend how my journey from an inauspicious upbringing in small-town Iowa led to meeting Pope Francis and visiting the two most important holy sites associated with our beloved St. Benedict and St. Scholastica in Italy – nearly 30 years after graduating high school and leaving home.  After spending a significant portion of my career traveling extensively through parts of the developing world, I don’t consider my childhood to be been one rooted in poverty, but certainly, my parents had to work hard to make ends meet and there was no shortage of stress present throughout my childhood.  I generally consider the Christian formation I received while growing up to be relatively poor, and our participation in church of any kind was sporadic and inconsistent: we were members of Presbyterian, Nazarene, and Methodist congregations at various times during my youth, and moved constantly between northeast Iowa, and east and west coast towns in Florida, before finally settling in southern Iowa where I spent most of my high school years.  It is no surprise to me that of our Oblate promises Stability is what I cherish most from my family and Oblate community!

In reality, it is our other Oblate promises, to obedience and conversion, that defined my 20s and set me on an eventual path to meeting our Holy Father.  Shortly after marrying my amazing bride nearly 25 years ago, who is a devout cradle Catholic, I made the decision to participate in our local parish’s RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) program as a means to better understand the faith that we had agreed to raise our children in.  My openness to God’s word, combined with the beauty and sanctity of the Holy Mass, combined to forever change my heart and create a deep yearning and love for Jesus that opened the door to a life-changing and life-defining faith and spiritual life.  It was also during my RCIA experience that I met Father Jim Secora, who would become a best friend, a surrogate father, an adopted member of my family, and my guide to Benedictine spirituality.  Fr. Jim had developed a long-standing connection with Christ the King Priory in Schuyler, Nebraska, first as a retreatant and friend to the monastic community there, and then as an Oblate.  It was through Fr. Jim that I came to meet the amazing monks and Oblate community at Christ the King Priority and eventually make my final Oblation in July of 2021.

 After traveling with our Oblate Director and a sister Oblate to the North American Association of Benedictine Oblate Directors (NAABOD) conference in Meinrad, Indiana last year, it was with mixed emotions this past spring that I accepted an opportunity to represent our Oblate community in Rome for this year’s International Oblate Congress.  My experience in Meinrad was a rich and wonderful one, full of moving worship and fellowship with amazing Benedictines from all over America.  To follow that amazing experience with a trip to Rome this year felt gluttonous, and I battled a sense of guilt for much of the summer over the idea that I might be taking this opportunity from one of my more deserving brothers and sisters who had so graciously offered me this opportunity.  As summer wound down and my kids returned to school in August, guilt was replaced with joy and gratitude.  By the evening before my departing flight, I was sick with the tormented excitement of a young child on Christmas Eve, unable to sleep and focus on anything other than the amazing gifts that were waiting for me on the other side of that night’s darkness. 

 Shortly after arriving at Sant’Anselmo Monastery in Rome, I began to review the schedule and conference materials that I had received during check-in.  As I studied each page and absorbed the itinerary it quickly became apparent that there was a structure to our planned time in Rome: each day of keynote speakers and workshops would be followed by a day of pilgrimage to Benedictine holy sites around the city.  First, a Monday trip to Montecassino.  Then, to Subiaco on Wednesday.  And Finally, to the Vatican on Friday.  As I studied our Friday agenda, my eyes fixated on the purpose of our Vatican visit: “Audience with the Pope”.  As I continued to study these words my mind raced to conclusions seeking to minimize their impact and importance.  I couldn’t help but think that this ‘audience’ would be a large group event with many participants in an impersonal setting – and that although still an extraordinary event would not be a personal one.

 I think nearly everyone at the Congress took note of our planned Friday event, and by the end of the 1st full day, there was already chatter regarding what people expected of our Friday itinerary.  Almost certainly to avoid colossal disappointment group-think quickly centered on theories that whatever was in store would likely be in a very large public space.  We all concluded that with the Pope’s busy schedule, global political demands, and the ever-present risk of illness we probably shouldn’t count on whatever was scheduled, regardless of the forum.  After all, how could we possibly expect the Holy Father, who leads a flock of more than a billion faithful, to have time and space in his busy life for the 153 of us?

 It was during announcements after evening prayer on Wednesday that Fr. Benoit, the Conference Director, began to relay important instructions regarding our planned audience with Pope Francis.  As Fr. Benoit began to describe our meeting it quickly became clear that our collective assumptions about what was to occur at the Vatican were not accurate, and that the minimized vision we had created would not accurately model the reality we would soon experience.  Upon leaving the main church at Sant’Anselmo that evening the energy and excitement radiated through all of us as we processed the news that in fact, our meeting with Pope Francis would be very personal.  I think the commonly shared concern that evening was, “What do you say to the Pope?”.  I returned to my room that evening and spent considerable time drafting my own greeting, eventually landing on, “Gracias Santo Padre por tu amoroso ministero.  Te quiero mucho!” (Thank you Holy Father for your loving ministry.  I love you!), which I would rehearse repeatedly over the next 30 hoursOn Friday morning we left Sant’Anselmo earlier than originally planned due to a slightly altered schedule at the Vatican.  Even while in transit that morning we struggled to comprehend the experience that awaited us.  What does a private audience entail?  Would the Pope really meet each of us individually?  Would be close enough to share a personal moment with him?  Would we really be able to grasp the hand of the Bishop of Rome?  Every couple of minutes I closed my eyes and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving.  I continually imagined my kids and wife and lamented the fact that they would not be with me to experience this unimaginable experience.  The drive across the city seemed to take forever, but eventually, the busses arrived along the northern edge of Vatican City in close proximity to the Vatican City archway that separates the Holy See from Rome.  Before long we were ushered into St. Peter’s Square and around the line for general admission to a security checkpoint near the entrance to the Papal residence.  After a 15-minute wait, we were screened through security and began the long walk into the residence and up the first of several flights of stairs.

 As we neared the top of the 3rd flight it became clear that our meeting space with the Pope was just ahead.  This floor was bustling with activity, and straight ahead was a sizeable but intimate and ornately decorated room in which was arranged about 15 rows of chairs.  As we neared the entrance to this room we could see the Pope’s chair opposite the door we were entering through.  We streamed into the room filled the rows closest to the Pope first, and as I had been following close to our Swiss Guard guide I had an opportunity to sit in the second row from the front, immediately behind the Benedictine religious and conference administrators that had occupied the front row.  Luckily, we had the next 20 minutes or so to catch our breath and take in the environment.  A constant flow of various Vatican employees, papal aides, security personnel, and secretaries entered and exited the room: some helped prepare the space that the Holy Father would occupy, some communicated instructions to our Benedictine leaders, and some simply appeared to pass through our space on their way to other stations in the residence.  From my position in the second row on the right side of the audience, I had a tremendous view of the large doors that flanked the Pope’s chair on both sides of the room, and was at most 12-15 feet from the door that was just to my right and slightly ahead of the front row of Benedictines ahead of me. 

 And then – magic!  While focused on two papal aides who were conversing between the front audience row and the papal chair, I saw the door to my right open from the corner of my eye.  Before I could fully turn my head, my peripheral vision caught the white of Pope Francis’s robe, and I think we all froze in shock at the sight of him standing in the doorway smiling warmly at all of us.  The room erupted in clapping, and we were all moved at the site of our Holy Father as he entered and greeted the row of Benedictine religious in the front row.  After warmly embracing Abbot Primate Polan, the Pope turned to walk toward his chair before turning and blessing all of us, who were still standing and celebrating his presence.  The toddler son of one of our Congress directors broke loose from his parents during these first minutes with Pope Francis, and when they went to coral him Pope Francis waived them off, clearly preferring to let the small child explore and roam freely in our gathering space (several times during his address he stopped to interact or just smile and enjoy the wandering baby, which he clearly enjoyed). 

Pope Francis’s address to the Congress attendees, which Jodi covered separately, was moving and I was struck by how fluidly and confidently he delivered the message.  I am sure he was reading most, if not all, of the address from the papers in front of him, but he engaged so warmly with the audience that it felt as if he was speaking off the cuff and from the heart.  It was as if the Holy Spirit took the form of his words, which filled our hearts and penetrated our souls as he spoke.  Although not as mobile as he was early in his pontificate, there can be no doubt that cognitively and relationally he continues to function at an extremely high level.  There is sincerity and warmth that overwhelms in his presence, and it felt like he was speaking individually to us. 

 At the conclusion of his address, we were invited to approach the Holy Father in a reception line and were given an opportunity to briefly embrace his hand, share a thought, or request a blessing or prayer.  It is hard to articulate the feeling at that moment, knowing that I was going to be holding the Holy Father’s hand for a brief but very personal and intimate moment.  I recall the room at that moment, before the receiving line formed, being eerily silent; I believe all of us were in a sort of mental vapor lock, completely unable to rationalize or process the moment or experience we were about to encounter.  The receiving line began with Abbot Primate Polan and the Benedictine Monks and Sisters that were with our group who had been seated in the front left row.  Our Congress directors followed from the front right row before the Oblates in row 2 began to fill in behind them.  As I was in the second row on the right it wasn’t long before I was standing and moving into the main aisle directly in front of the seated Pontiff.  As I made my way forward, I mentally rehearsed my greeting, “Gracias Santo Padre port u amoroso ministerio.  Te quiero.”  I remember vividly a taller man who was perhaps 3 people ahead of me bending down to greet the Holy Father and realizing that I was now 10 or so feet away from him.  And within another perhaps 30 seconds, there was one more Oblate between me and the Pope.  It was during their exchange that I made initial eye contact with the Holy Father, and whether a result of the personal conversation he was having with the Oblate ahead of me, or the likely overwhelmed look on my face, he smiled like a father looking at his innocent child.  It was this quick gaze and eye contact that made me feel completely relaxed, wholly at peace, and ready to absorb this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime moment.

The Oblate ahead of me stood and turned to walk back toward our seats, and there I was face-to-face with the Holy Father, perhaps 4 to 5 feet away from him.  He was smiling gently, and there was a commanding peace about him that made me feel completely unaware of the two Cardinals behind him, the army of guards and secretaries that were present around the room, or the approximately 135 other Oblates behind me waiting for the opportunity to greet our Pope.  I bent down as I approached the Holy Father and he reached for my hand.  One of the very surreal moments of the encounter occurred as our hands connected.  His skin was cool and dry, but his embrace was firm and felt very intentional.  I held his hand for a matter of seconds, but time seemed to slow and I was focused on the sensation of holding his hand for what seemed like a much longer period of time than it was.  As he leaned slightly toward me I began to say the line that I had rehearsed so many times over the preceding 30 hours only to find that my mouth was completely dry and I couldn’t produce audible words.  What sound I produced effectively sounded like a raspy whisper, which surprised me and didn’t seem to phase him at all.  I tried to at least muster a more audible, “te quiero”, but to my frustration, I was only able to produce a slightly louder and more raspy whisper.  I wanted so badly to thank him for the gift of his leadership and presence, and I was sure I’d blown it.  But as I started to release his hand and stand to turn back to our seats, I heard him turn back to me one last time and say, “te quiero”.  I completed my standing motion and was now on my way back to our seats, tears streaming down my face and so emotionally overwhelmed that I was close to sobbing.

Upon returning to my seat I sat and removed my rosary from my pocket, closed my eyes, and just prayed for the ability to remember the experience wholly for the rest of my life.  Over the next 15 minutes or so while the rest of the Oblates were meeting Pope Francis, I sat with my eyes closed and tried to comprehend how I had ended up in that moment, on that chair, surrounded by those holy people, having just shaken hands with our Holy Father.  I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit all around me.  I think all of us would have been content to sit in that space, in silence, for the rest of the day.  But eventually, the receiving line was completed, and we all rose and clapped in vocal silence as Pope Francis blessed us and made his way through the door from which he had come.  And just like that, the doors were closed, and we were quickly ushered back through the corridor and down the stairs to leave the residence. 

I think it would be hard to overstate the impact this experience has had on me.  The memory of my face-to-face meeting with Pope Francis is etched into my consciousness in a way that has given me new life and purpose and has somehow affected the way I interact with those around me.  Living my Benedictine charism in the form of service and hospitality to others seems more urgent.  Family leadership aimed solely on Jesus and His church is more singularly important.  Sharing the good news of Christ to my friends and co-workers is now the predominant focus of my career.  Since my meeting with Pope Francis, I find myself awe-struck but more at peace with the seeming incongruence of my upbringing and current circumstances and more focused on just being thankful and living with a spirit of gratitude for all of His mercy and blessings.  I’ll be eternally grateful to my brothers and sisters at Christ the King Priory for giving me this incredible and life-giving opportunity.


Jaime Williams is an Oblate of Christ the King Priory in Schuyler, Nebraska, where he made his final oblation on July 17, 2021.  He is originally from Ottumwa, Iowa, but settled in Marshalltown, Iowa after college with his wife Jessica.  Together they have 3 children – son Jacob and daughters Julia and Jenna, two dogs, and two cats, and an adopted retired priest that comes home during holidays.  The Williams family enjoys RV camping and traveling to new destinations.   

Read more here: A Heart Expanded by The Unspeakable Sweetness of Love: World Oblate Congress 2023