“We have God and we have each other. We have our island community, fragile, and yet a fortress.”

–Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler

The past few months have presented some hard times in my circle of friends and family. Each week presents a new situation—diagnosis, dying, death—all of it; not to mention the growing instability in our country and world. It seems impossible not to feel sadness, loss, fear, even despair.

Over a recent campfire conversation with friends, my husband shared a sympathy card he received after his brother, Steve, passed away. Overcome with tears, he could not get through the words, so I finished reading it for him. I, too, was in tears by the time I reached the end. And that’s when it hit me–this is how we must walk through any darkness we face: KINDNESS.

My husband’s former co-worker was so thoughtful! His words are an example of how we can extend kindness to others. We are grateful for all the acts of kindness from so many during the last few weeks and throughout our lives. Kindness matters.

No matter what comes, only kindness matters in the end. The kindness so many have shared has carried us through some difficult and sad times. And kindness will carry us through what is to come. It is all we can manage or control—who we are when we walk though our own dark night and how we are to others when they are in theirs. We are light for each other.

St. Benedict writes in his rule for living in community that “a kind word is better than the best gift” (RB 31.14 and Sirach 18:17). Consoling the grieving (RB 4.19) and giving consideration and extra kindness to those who are not strong (RB 34.2) are expressions of compassion and hospitality that St. Benedict saw as vital for living with others. These guidelines are wisdom from 1500 years ago and for now.

The kindness of others, even in the smallest ways, sustains me in my suffering and gives meaning and purpose to personal joy. Whether a written message or in-person, precious words can mean the difference between feeling despair or being accompanied. Our words and actions matter. The kindness we extend to others matters.

“Words are powerful and funny things, said or unsaid.” –The Berry Pickers, Amanda Peters

How can we share kindness with someone who needs it most today? How can we be kind to ourselves? Perhaps this Lent, adding extra kindness to your day is the most fruitful action to be light-bearers in a dark time. No matter who leads this country (into the ground or successfully), no one can take away our acts of kindness.

Give kindness away “like stars breaking open and spewing more and more life and love...we are made to burn and light, to sparkle and shine, to be warmth and fearlessness…”

“We are here to shout the name and praise the glory and trust the love that the Creator brings daily to us as creation. Then, we may make our own glories and give them recklessly away so that like stars breaking open and spewing more and more life and love, reason and care, knowing and wisdom in the air, is to understand that we are the stardust of the Creator and we are made to burn and light, to sparkle and shine, to be warmth and fearlessness as tonight fades into all the tomorrow of our lives.” –An Evolving God, An Evolving Purpose, An Evolving World by Joan Chittister.

Hands by Jewel, 1998

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all okay
Not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

Our hands are small nice weapons
Of conscience if they’re not idle with despair
We gather ourselves around our faithful light
As the darkness most feared

Our hands are small, I know
But they’re not yours, they are our own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And we shall go unbroken

In the end, only kindness matters
In the end, only kindness matters

© Jodi Blazek Gehr, Being Benedictine Blogger